I'll be honest, I've been doing my best to stay away from the news since Friday. I just... it's too hard and too real and I just cannot fathom any part of it. Plus I have no words to make any sense out of it, and so I retreat into myself and feel my baby kick and wish that I had the ability to protect it as well outside of myself as I can protect it now. I know that I can't, but still. I wish. (And god, all of the "I"s in that paragraph. It's not about me. At all. Believe me, I know that.)
It's been a long couple of weeks between being busy at work, being busy with taking care of things after work and having family in town for the last week. Plus the whole being 35 weeks pregnant thing. For the most part I'm actually still feeling well (and in case anyone cares, my rings are still on, my shoes still fit, and my belly button still has a weird scar but is definitely an innie), but I am just absolutely exhausted. I am amazed at how quickly the exhaustion has seemed to envelope me (and I also fully recognize that this is nothing compared to how I'll feel when sleep deprived with a newborn. I do know that. But that doesn't take away from how I'm feeling right now).
I keep talking to baby and reminding him or her to keep cooking away in there for a few more weeks. Luckily we're in a great spot with being prepared for baby. I think we've got a good plan of getting the last few things that we need and then it'll be the baby's turn to decide when to show up.
This is what me at 35 weeks looks like if you're interested. I'm glad that I've been taking these, but dear lord I feel like I look as exhausted as I feel. Just keeping it real apparently?
Also, I should note that I am taking some time off of work next week to be with family and friends during the holidays and I'm not sure how much I'll be around here. Hope you all enjoy the holidays however you celebrate!